When I Grow Up

What did you want to be when you were a kid, teenage, now?

I went through a lot of “careers” when I was younger. In the beginning I wanted to be a cop. I was fascinated with TJ Hooker and that is what I wanted to do. At some point later, I decided it would be fun to be a bank teller. I am pretty sure it was because they dressed professionally with heals & smart suits. It was the 80’s, they still wore smart suits. Also, they seemed to do the “real” work. I remember getting my very first pair of “heels”.

Note these are nothing like the ones I had. Mine were that 80s burnt orange and yellow, you know, totally classy.

Also, they got to fill out forms & use adding machines & occasionally typewriters. I know that some of you may find those machines relics, but to a young girl in the 80’s, it was the shit!

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There was a brief moment where I wanted to be a teacher, but that seemed to be very fleeting. In the late 1980’s, I was all about becoming a fighter pilot. I blame Jerry Bruckheimer. I cannot even tell you how many times I watched Top Gun. I do recall getting the VHS for Christmas one year and slept with it. Also, I watched it on loop for the entirety of my Christmas vacation. I spent a few years entertaining the thought of being a fighter pilot off and on.

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(Sadly this is not me giving the thumbs up.)
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(My fighter of choice: F-14 Tomcat)

I also considered being a cocktail waitress as a lofty career goal. Again, it was all about the attire. High heels, short skirts? I was all in for that. Little did I know! Not just any cocktail waitress, a Las Vegas cocktail waitress. They were almost like celebrities to me when we were in the casinos. And by in the casinos, I mean rushing through as quickly as possible, being underage has huge disadvantages!

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(Please note that this is not a cocktail waitress outfit. It is a little scary what they are wearing these days.)

I returned to the bank teller profession after I came to love math more and more. I also considered being a bookkeeper/accountant. I had given up on the fighter pilot dream after realizing I was deathly afraid of heights. And the fact that I would never make it in the military.

I sort of went back to my cop dreams, only I promoted myself to detective. I tried arson investigation (hello Backdraft), but ultimately determined that the best was homicide. That’s the money right there.

There were a few fleeting moments during award season when I was a fantastic actress who always won the big award. No supporting roles for me!

After I saw Swordfish, I wanted nothing more than to be a hacker, but the fear of prison turned me off pretty quickly.  Plus I was a bit paranoid the G.O.V. was going to come after me for downloading music from Napster.

I had always wanted to be a writer, but that was kind of a hidden secret I didn’t let out often. I did publish while in Wyoming, but for some odd reason I do not have physical proof of that. Sigh.

After college, I entered the work force and quickly learned why I would never make it as a teacher. Ugh! Real life is harsh sometimes.

I entertained schooling for forensic sciences thanks to Mr. Bruckheimer. However, after watching Forensic Files, I learned that I would not get a gun and badge and the computer would not to all the work. I would have to collect body fluids like vomit and brain matter and search through trash bins and decided that was not so glamorous. Also, in Vegas, I would probably make more money going back to my cocktail waitress career plan.

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(No stilettos & low cut tank tops here)

I finally settled into accounting work and yes, I do like it, but I still long to be something more/different. I still have those dreams of becoming a writer and a detective. Actually, my characters are detectives but I can live vicariously through them. I also want to be a graphic designer and a hacker (hoping the government would hire me and then it’s all “legal”).

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What were/are your career goals? Hit the comments & let me know.

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