Tuesday, May 26, 2009

15 Minutes

Maggie Jackson must be stopped. This woman is overtaking the New Patterns section of Ravelry. It would be one thing if people were going to make this stuff, but seriously, who is going to knit this?

Can I just say that legislation needs to be passed for mandatory three day weekends. This past weekend was honestly the best weekend ever. It was so relaxing and yet full of so much. I had a blast. I won some money and spent a good portion of it. I moved my yarn stash, I installed an air conditioner, okay, so I put it in the window and stuffed some weather stripping underneath it, but I still got it done. I finished a square. It only took me three days to finish the damned thing. At the rate I am going, I will have a completed blanket in the year 2072, four years before I turn 100! I should have the crochet thing down by then. I am the slowest crocheter in the world. This is what I ended up…
I also got a swap package last week. Yay! Here is the picture.

I took some pictures of me wearing the lei headband, but quickly deleted them out of sheer and total disgust. I looked like a party girl, a fat party girl, either half dead, or dead drunk. Sad this is, the hardest thing I was hitting was Diet Dr. Pepper. Nonetheless, I spared you that sight.

I got a new fan for the bedroom. My old fan died a horrible death. I don’t know if it was the shock of being cleaned or if he just died from exhaustion. Either way, he is now resting in the Alley Rally dumpster. He served faithfully for years. The newbie is quite quiet. I do not have a picture of him.

I have been meaning to take a picture of Yarn Pig for a few weeks now to post. I finally got around to it. He is just known as Yarn Pig. He doesn’t have a great name. He is still trying to discover his function in life and his goals. He is about half full and just got a little bit of Noro, so he is filling quite princely and proud. I don’t know why. I mean the Noro is beautiful and spendy (IMHO), but not all that great feeling. He is also filling up on some Cotton Ease and other cotton scraps. He has a boat load of Stone Cotton Ease in him. It feels so warm. I know he is looking for more color and not the muted tones. I think that is part of the reason he is feeling so peppy, the Noro is bright, while the Cotton Ease is muted. I don’t know. Maybe he can write an entry in the next few days describing himself and what is thoughts are. He is a faithful friend, that’s for sure.

Well there is finally a game on tonight. My god is has seemed like forever. I am super duper pissed off at the ass munches over as ESPNegatory. If they had their way, at the beginning of the year, Detroit would just be handed the Stanley Cup and it would be all good. They have basically said, that Detroit wins. I don’t fucking like them. And for Lindros’ sake, could someone please help Barry Melrose get dressed. The man keeps wearing these god awful striped suits. He looks like the bastard love child of some rejected 1960’s doo wop singer and Tony Soprano. The one the other night was blindingly awful, some sand and black stripe and his super greasy brillut. Is it any wonder why the man was fired in Tampa? Oren Koules must have been high when he hired him. So, anyways, tonight, Pittsburgh can wrap this puppy up and get ready to beat the knickers off of the aging Red Wings. And I don’t want to get all into a debate on the subject, but that Havlat hit? Yeah, maybe Mike Babcock should look at the tapes again, he left his feet and knocked him the eff out! Needless to say, I am still pulling for Chicago.

So all my shows are over and while I was happy to see season finales, I don’t feel like waiting until September. Could we just please make these people earn their exhorbanant salaries and get this shit back on? I mean I know I have SYTYCD and The Closer, but I could use something more meaty to get me through those bright sun shining, hot as a bug on a ticks butt on Venus days. Oh, and to the idiots over at Fox. What the hell was the point of airing one episode of Glee and then telling me a few days ago that it would be coming on in the fall? I can’t deal with that. I set up a series recording because I thought it was a summer replacement show. I need more Glee! Also, while I am happy that there is going to be more SYTYCD, I don’t much appreciate you filling up my Tuesday nights and making me choose what to record. It is bullshit. Either change the schedule or buy me a better dvr that records more than two things at a time. I can’t be forced to choose between stuff.

Also, just to state it here. I found nothing wrong with what Nigel said about the same sex samba couple. That was difficult to watch. It was quite painful really. I am not some homophobe, I just don’t see how one can watch two dudes sexing it up in a samba routine. But that’s just me apparently. One thing, is this shit is going to get them a lot of attention. They will get their fifteen minutes.

Speaking of 15 minutes. Can we please please please stop the clock on the following people:
1. Jon & Kate – she is like a super mega mega bitch and he is just some whipped pussy who takes her shit. I say kick her ass to the curb and trade that Dodge Sprinter in for a pimped out Partridge Family bus and head on down the road.
2. Cari Prejeen – I don’t care if she showed her boobies to the world and I don’t care what she thinks about marriage. Why don’t we ask her what she thinks about Her Highness, Perez Hilton, the douche.
3. Spenser and Heidi – If I am forced to see much more of them I am going to require a barf bucket. She now wants to be known as just Heidi and as a recording artist she wants to be known as H. I don’t think I can write much more without this turning into a bad Tourette’s Syndrome post.

Well I am off to do some work. I get paid to do that. Actually, I get paid this Friday! Yay, now I can pay bills again!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

PSAs, Recaps, Opinions - It's All Here

Hey there faithful followers…I was over updating Ravelry and thought I would stop in and tell you what’s been happening. Of course if I just did that, the entry would be quite small because as you are well aware, I don’t really have much of a life. But I have some things to say.

Well I was going to say, “where to begin” but I know where to begin. I will begin with a little PSA, if you will, Barry Melrose is an idiot. Keith Jones, an idiot and Versus, well they just might be idiots too. I will start with my good pal Barry. Barry and I have a long history of communication issues. I tell him something and he doesn’t listen. I tell him he is an idiot and he just keeps on talking. This year, he chose Philadelphia in Round 1 of the Playoffs. For those of you who are sheltered, The Flyers were playing my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins. He chose Philly in 7. It took Pittsburgh 6 games to knock Philadelphia out. OUT Barry! Round 2 rolls around and Barry chooses Washington Capitals in 6 or 7. He was conflicted. It took Pittsburgh 7 games to knock Washington out. Again, Barry, OUT! He finally listened and realizes that Pittsburgh can easily handle Carolina and make a return trip to the Stanley Cup Finals, where I pray they will meet Chicago. Chicago is playing Detroit. I make no apologies when I tell you I mfing hate Detroit. I don’t like there coach and dislike the majority of their aging players. Like most of the rest of the hockey loving world, the so called experts have picked Detroit to manhandle Chicago. I hold out hope though. Let’s move on to Keith Jones. One thing to know about Keith, he wasn’t a very good defenseman and his nose is the proof of that. He was also a Flyer. He, before the game last night, chose Carolina. Update Keith, Pittsburgh got the W! Now let’s go on to the powers that be (TPTB) over at Versus and NBC, because we should not leave their parent company out of it. Uh, these man on the bench interviews must stop and they must get rid of the stupid women who question the players. Last week or so ago, the stupid blonde bitch asked a Detroit player (Detroit was losing and had not scored) what there priority for the third period would be. Seriously, she asked the man this. Uh, chuckles, everyone knows the answer, it is scoring. I think he may have said, getting pucks in the net. Same damn thing. Asking players and/or coaches questions in the middle of a period is the worst possible time to talk to them. I so wish they would have done this to John Tortorella (whom I adore by the way) and he would have gone apeshit on them. Eh…what you really need to know is Pittsburgh = Stanley Cup Champions.

So, yes I have been watching a lot of hockey. It is great to knit to. Or crochet. Because now I am starting to do that too. I am not good at it though, but practice makes better or at least tells you that that is not your cup of lemon water.

I have been spending money too. I depleted some of my savings funds with all the May stuff. That is okay though. I will just submit some flex and build it back up. Of course, I always plan on transferring some money from checking over and then I find something I need or want (mostly yarn online) and place an order long before I transfer the money. I wish they sold cotton ease in my town, but nobody carries it. I have trouble finding any good cotton here. Seriously, you cannot buy brown cotton here. No Lily, no PnC brown cotton anywhere. For the love of god, I live in the ghetto of yarndom. Our so called LYS is a total shit festival. The old lady buys up all the shit that didn’t sell in the stores and jacks up the $$$ on it. She buys this crap for a buck a ball at various dollar stores and then slaps a $3.50 price tag on it. She has nothing but discontinued ickyness. She did have a couple hanks of happy feet. I bought those fairly reasonably. I went to look for cotton a few weeks ago, Lion Cotton to be specific. She had the green and white stripes that nobody buy and loads of it. It made me sad. I have to order or go out of town for brown cotton. That is insane in the membrane right there my little friends.

I finished up a few things. A Jelly Bums Lion, A Jelly Bums Monkey (btw I am addicted to Jelly Bums), a Lizard Ridge cloth, and a Granny Square for the Journal Blanket. I did that all since May 6th. Now, I don’t want you all to think I am on the short bus of yarn work. I am a thrower, which makes me a slower knitter. I also knit those Jelly Bums on two circulars, which slows you down even more. But I knit on two circs because I do ride the short bus of mattress seaming. I am so retarded that I just can’t get it right. Also, I don’t usually like the way my bind off looks.

I have a plan now. A crafting plan or project plan if you will. I actually have an entire system set up. This entry is on the system. I have a plan of what I am making some people for Christmas, others like my sister, I have no clue what to do for her. Speaking, I made her the cutest owl bag and did not take a picture! WTF is wrong with me? It is like the chunk is eating my brain. So, yes I have this plan and it is all gadgety in Excel and pimped way the eff out. I am such a rockstar dork….a fat rockstar dork, but still a rockstar dork.

Oh my god spring finally showed up. I don’t know that is spring so much as Mother Nature just teasing us. We have had a couple of warm days (the fans are officially in the house). While the chick over on OD was bitching about Alaska weather, she had days where the sun was shining and the temps were 60+ degrees, we had freaking snow. I shit you not, last week there was snow and blizzardy like conditions. We don’t really have a spring season here in Montana. The chance of snow extends well into June and occasionally can happen on the nation’s birthday. It is a recorded fact.

So have you all been watching the television? Last week was a week full of finales. Grey’s was probably the most interesting with Bones coming in second, and I guess CSI NY third. I so knew who was going to die on NY long before it aired. I recorded my prediction for prosperity too. Last night’s 24 was less than stellar. I thought Jack was lucky to be in that coma at the end. The last 40 minutes was mind numbing. So glad President Dipshit turned Fugly daughter into the popo. She did bad things and she was difficult to look at. I don’t expect Henry to be living in the WH much longer. I think that he will be getting a cot down at the local YMCA. That man had a shitty day that’s for sure. I mean think about it, he was convinced Roger his son was murdered so he started off the day setting out to find out information. He gets lured by his own SS guy to Rog’s gf’s place and is pretty much injected with a paralytic. Then he watches the gf die, then he fights with his SS dude and flings himself over a railing to crash onto a table. Then he is kidnapped and in Jack’s effort to save his sorry ass, the man is shot. Then he finds out that some big African dude held his wife and fugly daughter hostage. Then he gets moved to the WH and finds out that his daughter ordered a hit on the man who was responsible for his son’s death. Yeah, I would totally be calling in sick the next day. He is no Martha Logan. Just saying.

Tonight is the big NCIS finale. They always leave you hanging. Like out on the ledge holding onto some root that is breaking free from the ground. For the love of god I just looked at the clock and there is still an hour left in the work day. Must go work.