Thursday, February 26, 2009


It comes to my attention on a rather daily basis that people do not think before they speak. For example, I was just standing in the kitchen at work and two coworkers were talking, I am assuming about someone having a heart attack. One of them said, “It used to be that people died from having heart attacks. Today it is no big deal.” It took just about everything I had to refrain from totally bitch slapping her. Seriously WTF? My dad died from a heart attack six years ago. Having a heart attack is a HUGE deal. I can’t believe someone would say that so nonchalantly. Stupid bitch.

I am critical of other people’s fashion choices. I am critical of my own at times. I present you with my new feature, the WTF Fashions.

Picture it, a floral dress circa 1987, dark blue/black with large blue, purple and white flowers, short sleeved. Now picture it with a white crocheted sweater circa 1985. Got that picture, now put a lady in it with a frizzy perm. Then, put some white tights on her and black shoes. Now, picture that walking out of a mental health facility and realize that she is a worker not a client and that it is February 2009. The only people who should be wearing white tights are young female children. Never should a grown woman put on white tights with black shoes unless she is dressing up for Halloween. Fashions older than 1998 should be burned with acid. Certainly nobody should be wearing a 1987 flower dress with white tights!

Now, I myself, on a weekly basis put on some WTFF (WTF Fashion), but I keep it in the privacy of my own home, sometimes my car if I am going through drive thru. Sometimes, I make the mistake and get out of the car. Sometimes I put something on and think it looks fine and then see my reflection in a store window and realize it most certainly does not look right. I learn from that.

So I did get some cleaning done last night, and some more knitting. I need to make some arms and legs for my elephant. I might be able to knock that out tonight. I sat down last night and watched the end of the Pens/Islanders game. Happy to report it turned out perfectly. Then I switched over and watched Life and CSI New York. Is it just me or are the CSI’s getting a little boring? I think that whole Ella/Mac thing was ill placed last night. The case was kind of boring and you know who did it as soon as they introduced him. There were some head scratching moments, but none as glaring as the one on Life. Crews arrives at the baddie’s house and his temporary partner is “down” so he opens his phone and dials and says “Officer down, need assistance” or something like that. The problem? He didn’t tell them where he was! Was that dispatcher supposed to guess or call the psychic network?

I get a massage after work today. It couldn’t come at a better time. I feel so achy. This will really help. I just have to make it through the next seven hours. Oh, my good friend The Christmas Jew was just in, questioning the system yet again. (Please note the sarcasm when I say good friend).

Yes, that massage will greatly help my neck pain. I had the worst shooting pain in my ear on the drive to work today. I don’t know how long it lasted because when I got to work, I well sat down to do some work. Okay, I sat down to check the blogs and TMZ.

We usually talk to my sister every weekend. Well we didn’t talk to her last weekend and that started to concern me. I sent her a message through Ravelry on Sunday night and happily got a reply on Monday morning. I worry when we don’t hear from her being that she lives far away. I am a worrier. I feel better though because we talked for a long time on Monday. It was great.

I guess I should do some work. I figure an hour before heading to do the bank run and errands. I can knock something off my list in that amount of time.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I waste money

But I just cleaned on Saturday! My living room is a disaster and I just cleaned it on Saturday! The problem? I have no storage for desk items/filing. I pile stuff on the floor because I have no where to put it and then when I need the floor space, I pile it on the daybed. I can’t win! So when I am done with this, I am going to watch TMZ and clean. Then I am going to take a hot shower and then I am going to settle in and watch Life and CSI New York and finish the head of my elephant.

Okay, I couldn’t take it, I had to clean before I could finish. I went out and got the hutch for the desk. That gives me some storage and gets my printer off the work area. I also gained some display space. Which I need right now because little Cooper knocked my buddha teapot off the television stand and I need to see about having the rubber cement queen fix it. I cut my foot on a large piece that was on the floor last night. Man alive that smarted.

I Y TMZ. I must say that watching that show makes checking the site hourly so much more fun. I like too. That is more raunchy, but funny.

So about a week or so ago, I ordered some bras from and they came in the mail today. I also got a comfy outfit to wear around the house and am actually wearing it right now. But, the bras. O-M-G they lift and separate my sadly sagging boobs. I am so excited to get dressed for work tomorrow. I mean, it makes them look as huge as they are, but it makes me look like I have boobs and not two small Volkswagen Bugs parked under my chin. Two are front close and one is back. They are basic Playtex 18 hour, nothing fancy, but no need for fancy when nobody is looking. I am also so into granny pants right now. They stay up, they stay out of my crack…yeah it is good. It’s not fancy, but its effective.

This has been one of those weeks at work. Those in between weeks where you are left wondering what to do. I have a very mundane to do list, that takes at most two hours to really complete each day. Such a stark contrast to what next week will be like. I can’t wait for tomorrow. I get my massage tomorrow after work! I am excited for that. And then Fridays are always fun days at work. I have a bit more to work on on Friday. I could have done it earlier this week, but I would still have to update on Friday, so it is just easier to do it all on Friday in preparation for Monday.

Every morning when I get to work, I immediately pull up the Kidd Kraddick show. So funny. And then when the show goes off, they play great music the rest of the day. They are playing Britney’s new song If U Seek Amy. Yeah, when you sing it, it totally sounds like F-U-C-K Me. I call it a work about and really like the beat of the song. That is what the majority of people listen to when they listen to music, the beat, not the lyrics. When I was younger, well even now, I love to listen to the Grease soundtrack. Greased Lightning is a dirty song kids. But you know what? My momma let me listen to it until my ears bled, or until it drove her and the rest of the family crazy. I didn’t turn into some slutty porn perv either.

So, for reasons unknown to me, mom has gotten a bug up her butt about doing the whole lent thing. We had fish and chips for dinner. Yeah, it was okay, but not great. I totally don’t expect myself to eat a lot of fast food fish. Gross. Take me out for salmon or a ceasar salad, but no fishwiches. Uck! It’s weird, we are not going to church, at least I’m not planning on it. I think I am over religion for a while. I don’t really miss it and can’t say that I got a whole lot out of it. Of course, I wouldn’t want her to have to go to church by herself. I just don’t know. I guess time will tell. What I do know is that mofo fish was expensive as all get out.

Let me leave all you knitters out there a little tid bit. Do not waste your money on something called the End Weaver. It is a total waste of cash. I bought one. I do that though, I waste money on stupid shit. Believe me when I tell you it is easier to thread a nice gold chibi darning needle and weave your ends than use that piece-o-crap. Lesson learned.

Well I am going to go and get started on the rest of my evening. Some light reading during my refining mask, followed by a hot shower and leg shave. I feel guilty about not shaving my legs before a massage. I am sure it is not pleasing to feel as though you are massaging a gorilla’s leg.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I don’t wear either

I am so frustrated right now. I have been working on a sock, one sock, since Wednesday, and I just frogged the entire thing! I don’t think I am a sock knitter, which means I have to find a new use for sock yarn. It could be that I just really don’t understand it. I have made two pairs of socks. I don’t wear either. Ugh!

The weekend has gone by fast. Yesterday was errand day and today I went and got my hair colored and trimmed up a bit. I came so close to just saying, “Give me your cut” to the hair stylist. She had a really cute cut, but she also had a lot less hair than I do. My hair is so thick! Even though it is short, it is super thick. That is one thing the hair stylists always say, “I didn’t expect you to have this much hair. It is so thick!”. It is a curse I think. Because I think my hair grows, but it grows in thickness more than length. I was thinking about that today as I was sitting there. B’s hair grows in length by leaps and bounds and my hair just gets heavier and blah looking. I got the back trimmed up a bit, it needed it, the sides evened out a little, a few more layers and the bangs cut. I think I like my hair better with bangs than the way I have been wearing it lately.

Ugh! I feel like I have so much to do this week. Not workwise either! I need to get bills paid, a package mailed, exercise EVERY day, get back on track reading wise, clean the bathroom, put some clothes away. I would love to clean out the armoire and dresser drawers. I also need to find time in the next two weeks to get my driver’s license renewed. That is a big must do. I would love to take another day off work, I just don’t know what day because it is the end/beginning of the month. I will look at the calendar tomorrow and see what I can come up with.

Well I am going to grab a quick shower and find a new project to work on…something that is not a sock!

Monday, February 16, 2009

$400 For Fug?

I had to purchase new cell phones. Well I didn’t have to, but I did. We have a phone that will not hold a charge and so it was time to replace it. Because I didn’t want to be left out, I replaced mine too. We just got LG somethings. I don’t know what they are, they are basic camera phones, mine has an mp3 player. No big full keyboard, no other special bells and whistles. I got a new plan too. It has been probably a good four years since we have upgraded the plan. We were sharing 500 minutes, which worked, but I thought it was time to change it and resign, so now we share 700 non network minutes and free nights and weekends. After all was said and done, it cost me $130 to walk out of the store with two new phones, but I will get two $50 money cards back in the mail soon…after I send in the paperwork. It was a necessary evil.

While I was in the store (I was there for a long time), a man came in and said to the girl “I bought this phone that wasn’t supposed to break and it did, so I need to replace it. It should be covered under warranty.” The girl gave him a number to call and he left. Later, while I was still there, he came back and said he needed to buy a new phone, that it wasn’t covered. Another worker came in and asked him what he needed and he said he needed a new phone because his wasn’t supposed to break but it did and the girl told him, well nothing is unbreakable. It is just military grade and capable of withstanding more. Well, apparently not chickadee. To hear him spin the tale, it fell from his truck. Military grade my ass. Mine fell out of my pocket onto the asphalt before I went in the store and it was fine. But anywho, the phone he had was this big orange monstrosity. He said the new version was more hideous than his “old” version. That phone was the definition of fugly. Then the girl told him the price he would be paying for the fug….$400! I nearly pissed myself right there. $400 for fug? Are you kidding me? Well $489.99 after he bought the protection plan, that I declined. OMFG that is a lot of money for a phone!

So I turned on the Pittsburgh Penguin game today to find out that they fired their coach yesterday. Not that it really matters to me, but damn I didn’t think they would do that. Let’s just hope they don’t get a bug up their butt and hire Barry Melrose. If they do, I would never hear the end of it, but I would also instantly have another die-hard Pens fan in the house. By the way, at the moment they are losing. Boo.

I am working on a new slouch hat. I had the worst time figuring out a project to make, but then I saw this hat and fell in love with it. So I am working on that today. I am only on the brim, but that is because I spent half the morning in the cell shop. I am going to find a jar and cut up strips of paper with projects on them and put them in the jar, so when I am blocked, I can pull one out and not get stuck like I was yesterday/last night.

Well I am going to go back and knit now and turn down the television so that the neighbors can’t hear it!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

On Being Blocked

I feel blocked. I was so busy knitting baby stuff and then knitting Valentino, that now I don't know what to start! I am about one step away from crying. I was going to start a hat with this great skein of Traditions I have, but every pattern I find requires more yardage than I have. I have a full skein, it is just not quite enough to do a slouchy hat, which is what I really want to knit. Then I was going to do a small bag, but just can't find that one pattern that is going to be useful enough.

I would start socks, but I just don't think I am ready for that right now. I just want something to kick start me again. I don't know what that is. I want to find it tonight so that I can start knitting it tomorrow. Maybe just taking this break is what I need and then back to looking.

I spent the entire day in my pajamas. It was wonderful! I did knit Valentino's legs this morning, but that was all. I took a 2½-hour nap. I just was not feeling well. I had a headache and so I took some medicine and lay down. I think it is what I needed.

I think I will make socks. I have some pink yarn that I got in a swap and a pattern that I have really wanted to try, so I will just try to wind my skein into a ball and try these socks again. I don’t know. UGH!

I bought a little notions keeper thing from JoAnn’s yesterday and put all my stuff into it and then today when I was getting into it, I noticed that it is torn in two places, so I am going to take it back tomorrow. I am hoping that the cell phone store is open too. I need new phones. One phone is barely holding a charge, you cannot finish a lengthy call without low battery warnings. So, definitely in need of new phones. It has been two years. My phone is still okay, but who wouldn’t want something different? I think I am over the red too. It will all depend on what phones they have at the store I go to. If the one in the mall doesn’t have anything good (I am betting they don’t), I will go across the street and see what they are offering. We are getting good phones this time. I don’t want to pay for a Blackberry, but something decent. I would prefer to get something around $20 - $30 each with a two-year contract. I would love free, it will just depend on what is offered.

I was very disappointed to find that when I frogged my blanket that was on the needles, I had cut the pink yarn when I attached the brown. I thought I left it on and was going to cut it later. ‘Twas not the case and now I have a little ball of pink. Eff!

This has been a great weekend. I have really had fun, even after dropping $360 on my car. All is good, and that is what matters.

Well I am off to find a project to knit tomorrow. Maybe another Jelly Bum, maybe a slouch hat in another yarn.

I now present Valentino

And by-the-way - I have decided to do a Meret hat using Vanna. I heart Vanna yarn!

Monday, February 09, 2009

Highly Unlikely

A few weeks ago, on some blog, I declared that I loved making baby items. I would like to retract that statement. I don't think I love it as much as I thought I did. I love the finished product, but I am finding it a trial right now to be excited to knit them. I am nearly finished with a pair of pants, hopefully I can finish up the knitting part tomorrow and then save the seaming for maybe Friday. I don't want to seam when I am at the, "oh let's just get it over with already" stage. So, I am thinking finish up the monotonous knitting and then save the seaming for Friday when things are calmer. I also have to make a left bootie. It appears that when I was seaming up the first bootie, the "left" bootie, I made it a righty and then made the right bootie and made it a righty too. After several discussions today, I found out that it is highly unlikely for a baby to be born with two right feet, thus the need for a left bootie.

I just spent the evening watching Fashion Police. Well not the whole evening. I watched 1/2 an hour of the TV Guide channels fashion wrap up with Lisa "FishLips" Rinna. Yeah that was a half an hour well spent. Then I watched The Closer. Followed by E!'s Fashion Police. I am left with the question, "why do men feel the need to wear sunglasses at night and indoors?" Whenever I see a man wearing sunglasses at night, it instantly invokes a round of Corey Hart's I Wear My Sunglasses At Night. So I can, so I can... Needless to say, it bothers me. They don't care, but it does and I wish they would stop doing it.

I found out this morning that the Grammy's were pretty much overshadowed by Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rhianna. Quite the scandal. I have been watching pretty closely to get the 411.

Another thing I realized tonight was why I stopped watching CSI Miami. We first need to establish my reasons for watching said shit show in the past. First, I like to be sarcastic and make fun of television shows (my soul purpose behind watching Days of Our Lives was for pure entertainment during the writer's strike). Second, I am totally hot for David Caruso. Well in the feverish, he makes me vomit sort of way. The reasons I quit watching the show are #1 - Ryan Wolfe. Am I the only person who wants to kick this man in the testicles? Provided he has them still? Okay, so maybe I am. Seriously that is probably the most hated character of mine on television and there are a lot. Reason #2 - Eva LaRue. She couldn't act on All My Children and she still can't act. Well she can, she just doesn't do it well.

Something else I realized while I was watching CSI Miami the first five minutes tonight was that I am totally turned off by anything that slithers and is wormy. I mean I had a problem with that CSI episode where the college student falls face first into a pile of maggots, but it goes beyond that. I would like to thank the people over on Fox's Fringe for totally effing me up. See I started to watch the episode where giant spikey worm like slugs (I am talking small pug dog sized creatures) slithered out of people's mouths. Yeah, I no longer watch Fringe. I mean I really only started to watch it for two reasons. First my favorite flavor of the month was guest starring on an episode and so I thought I would watch from the beginning to see what the hell it was all about. Second, Joshua Jackson. Now, I didn't watch Dawson's Creek. But I did watch all the Mighty Ducks movies. I kept watching because Walter was so damn funny and Joshua Jackson is not at all difficult to look at. But the sluggy spikey things grossed me the eff out and I had to delete that from series recordings on the DVR.

So, I don't know where I am with my train of thought, but you are all caught up on why I don't watch CSI Miami & Fringe. I also deleted the series recording of Damages. That show, I think, is one that you just either wait for the dvd's or a marathon. Seriously it is too hard to wait week to week. Especially when they jump around all the time between now and six months ago and two weeks later. I know it is to keep me watching, but there are not any actors in it that make me want to tune in every week, so waiting for the dvd is perfectly okay with me. That and Patty Hewes is a bitch.

Well I am getting sleepy and I still need to read. I am right on track for reading 52 in 52. I would love to surpass that and possibly read 60, but I will take what I can get. I would like to finish the entire 87th Precinct series within the year. I am going strong on that. The only problem is it doesn't really leave any time to read other books.

In case you forgot, babies are not likely to be born with two right feet, and so learning from my experience, it is best to make a left and a right bootie.