Monday, September 29, 2008

I totally still love him

Bresnan is pissing me off. They do have a great service department though. First, my DVR was wonky and not filming my stuff even though it thought it was…very frustrating. So, I took it into the local office and said give me a new one. And they did. Then this afternoon I couldn’t log into my email so I got on their live chat and they fixed it all up for me. Their fault it went down, not mine. Effers, trying to mess with me. Now, I have to reload all my series recordings again on the dvr, I hope I don’t miss anything. I wonder how long it will take to load the guide tonight.

I am so glad that they are having the VP debate this Thursday. I have a company dinner to go to and I won’t miss any shows or anything. I am sure I won’t get home until after nine. Three hours for dinner! It kind of sucks, because I get off at 3:30/4:00 and I am used to having dinner by five so…they won’t even take the orders until at least 6:30, probably later. I am going to starve. I did this not to long ago…a long ass dinner. Eh…it’s free and at a great restaurant.

The weekend flew by. For the past two weeks, I have woken up on Thursday and was pretty excited that it was Friday…only it wasn’t. Then at some point during the day, I was happy it was Friday, but again, it wasn’t. That is so depressing. Today is almost like a Friday with regard to what I am working on…filing. Otherwise, it is a total Monday. I was going to work until four o’clock today, but I think I will leave around 3:40 and get the dvr plugged in. That and I am so tired of filing that I just want to scream! I have done nothing but file all day. All day! Well I did do the bank run and got the dvr, but other than that and lunch, I have been filing.

I finished another hat and a pair of baby socks. I am just cranking the projects out now! I made an olive green lacey edge hat. It is cute, but huge. I need to make some more, but I will go down a few needle sizes. This one is way huge and if I would have followed the instructions to the letter, it would be down to my knees! Yeah, I really misjudged the needle size on that one. I know I should gauge swatch, but do you know how utterly boring and unproductive it is? I mean, you work and work for x amount of time and get a piece to count some stitches and then you rip it out and if your measurements didn’t come out right, do it again…before you can even start the project. I call bullshit! Unfortunately it is a necessary evil when working a pattern with different yarn that what the pattern calls for…which I do a lot. I need to find some great sock yarn in a really pretty color. I will have to do some thinking on where to get it from…maybe Elan, maybe Knit Picks. Hmm…will have to think.

Okay, I think I am really starting to like Fringe, which means they will probably cancel it. I heart Joshua Jackson. He is a doll and sexy as all get out. Okay, maybe not all get out because there are at least three that I can think of that are just a tad more sexy…but then I can think of thousands that are way fugly so…

I also think that I am still in love with Donnie Wahlberg. I thought I outgrew it, but then I watched VH1 Behind the Story – New Kids On The Block and yeah, I totally still love him.

I know why I am not supposed to go to the convenience store on my way to work to get coffee. Because I come out with coffee, a kit kat, some Pringles, a Diet Dr. Pepper and corn nuts! Okay, two kit kats, but one is for way later! I am no willpower to resist right now. I haven’t gotten coffee in a long time because it is out of my way. I will not make that mistake again. I have to get this caboose back on the track! I need to start exercising and watching what I eat. I just have to, but I don’t want to put in a lot of work. That’s sad, really sad, but I am in a mood right now so I don’t much care. Someday when I reread this, I will care.

So I sucked it up and took a lookie loo at my 401K and it wasn’t so bad. I am sure that if I look now, I owe someone some money. I lost about 8% since July 31st. That’s not as bad as I expected. I know people who lost more that a quarter of their retirement, people much older, okay 18 years older than me. So, I am sitting fine right now. I honestly have no real thoughts on the bailout. I know I should, but I don’t. I try to distance myself from anything that involves financial markets and institutions because of a bad college experience, ie class. It makes me twitch a little uncontrollably and my eyes start to roll back in my head. I do have a book…Freakonomics that I bought on a whim. I should read it. Then again, I have three weight loss books I should read too.

Speaking of reading…I haven’t been. I tried to start a book, but lost interest. I rather just read a magazine blurb about a book I should read, buy said book and let it sit on the shelf collecting dust until it is outdate, or they make a movie out of it, in which case, I do not need to read it. Hence, Twilight…which I have put into the give away box because I think the people they got to star in the movie are way ugly. I am having a problem watching television shows with ugly people in them. I mean, every show has an ugly person or six, but I am talking about people that the sight of them burns my retinas. People who are so ugly, my stomach turns. People that are so ugly, even my dogs look away. People uglier than Horatio Cane. Do you know that there really are people uglier than Horatio? Seriously. And most of them end up on CSI Miami.

Well I should get back to my filing…or surfing until it is time to go home.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Wanted: One skinny scarf pattern that knits up quickly and looks fabulous on fat girls. I am in search of a great skinny scarf that will knit up quickly in some worsted weight yarn that I already have stashed. I need something super simple and fast to do while watching television. It’s not that I don’t have stuff to do, it’s that I need stuff that is fast and busts my stash a little. I have about seven projects that I need to get done, but I need something to knit on straights! Everything I have to work on is knit in the round and I am getting a little bored going in circles!

My class was cancelled…completely. Went to class last night and was sitting there happily working on another hat (a lacey edge hat for me in olive green vanna) and the teacher came in and said she had a note that the class was cancelled. After much boohooing from other students, she spoke with the woman in charge and it’s official, we are cancelled. It doesn’t really upset me. Sure there are things I wanted to be shown, but I can probably find it on youtube. And there are several shows on Tuesday nights that I can knit while watching. So, I am not too upset. I expect a full refund to be coming my way soon.

I like the cold months. I have sweaters galore and I adore them. I love to get all snugly in my sweaters for work and I think I like wearing socks. I don’t wear socks in the summer. I also get to wear scarves in the cold months and I like that, hence my search for the perfect pattern. I found a pattern for the cutest little ankle cuffs and I am going to work some up to wear with a skirt and tights. I just need to decide on a color. I am thinking a pair in purple to go with my new sweater. Maybe I can get those done this weekend and then look super cute next week. That means another in the round project. I just want to use my new super pretty harmony needles.

Wow, I come back from lunch and there is a man on a ladder outside my window. It kind of freaks me out to have someone behind me. I don’t like when people are on ladders, I am always scared they will fall. I have a huge fear of heights, not only from my perspective but from seeing others up high. I don’t like the circus because of high wire acts. I am always afraid they are going to fall and go splat. And the ball of doom, where the motorcycles spin around each other, I always think someone is going to slip and then they will all blow up and die. Yeah, can’t really go to the circus anymore.

I had to may an eye exam appointment because I took out a lot of flex money this year and I don’t want to leave any on the table, so I figure I will get my eyes checked and get new glasses. I haven’t had any new ones for a few years. I actually haven’t been wearing mine for a while because I didn’t know where they were, but I found them so I have been wearing them this week. It is amazing how much easier it is to read things.

I totally hosed up nine checks today. My brain just was not working at that moment. Frustrating. I had to void all of them and reissue. Eh…at least it wasn’t ninety…I would still be voiding them!

Well I should scootaroo and do some journal entries. I am behind a day since I took yesterday off.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Breaking News

Borefest draws in a large crowd, the Douchebag Spotlight shines and I may never be able to retire. This is the Fat Journal’s News.

Welcome to today’s blog cast. Those stories and no more coming up, but first, there is breaking news out of Lard Land. There has been a fat derailment and it is affecting me. The derailment happened long before the dreaded dieting started but came to a full head about five weeks ago, when this reporter pretty much said, “fuck it”. Since that time, I have rediscovered the goodness that is Burger King and McDonalds. Reports indicate that there are two books on weight loss currently collecting dust on a shelf, possibly choking them to death. Also, it was reported that a stability ball was spotted just sitting idly by, less than two feet from the fat ass while she ate a cookie dough pie from BK. This story continues to develop and we will get to the bottom of the Ben & Jerry’s pint before we put this to rest.

Dick Lick is in tonight for Jerry Tightend in sports…Dick. Well there is not much to report Fat Ass. NHL started pre-season games on Saturday night. Versus has announced the NHL schedule for this year. First game is on channel 404 (check your local listings) on October 5th.

Thank’s Dick! Now we go over to our own Dick Douche for the Douchebag Report. Dick?

Thanks Fatty. Great to be here. In tonight’s douchebag spotlight, the light shines on Spencer Pratt. Now, I am no fan of The Hill’s, but the guy is a totally superb douche, telling his fiancé’s sister to get the eff out of their apartment. Never mind you that she had just moved to Beverly Hills from some Podunk town in Kansas or somewhere nobody cares about and didn’t have a job or any where else to go. It’s a true blessing that Heidiho has scooped that winner up!

A story we covered a few days ago has a happy ending. It appears the Citicard hired at least two people who are not fatally retarded. The Staples card has been unblocked and is ready to be used. May the force be with the next one to try that card out.

In entertainment news, Borefest made a surprise uprising last night during the first three minutes of the Emmy Awards. I would like to relate more on that, but I nodded off and when I woke up, the five presenters were still on stage blathering on about having prepared nothing and I took that as my cue to do something worthless online to save a few brain cells. Continuing to bore me this year is Gossip Girl. Maybe I am too old to watch a show about filthy rich stuck up brats bitch about not getting the latest Prada bag and their trial and tribulations concerning senior year and the boyfriend game. But, there is nothing else on at 7:00 on Monday nights, so I will continue to watch. This week is the onset of the major network’s premier week. Tonight, CBS will be airing, the nonkilling of one of televisions most hated, ugly, retarded and completely worthless character Horatio Caine. Later in the week they continue to fuck with television viewers and premier the mind numbing Survivor. Knight Rider premiers on NBC on Wednesday night, the same time as Bones, so set your DVRs kids, you don’t want to miss out on Iceman as Kitt. Grey’s returns with a two hour premier on Thursday and ER kills a regular character on NBC (please let it be Abby or John Stamos).

In financial news, I may not have any retirement, but MSNBC said not to worry so I am not worrying and I am not paying attention to the financial market woes.
For the next episode we are working on a story about the Jonas Brothers…not all of them are jail bait! And continuing coverage of the lard land derailment tragedy. Until then, take a hit off the donkey bong and vote democrat!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Today's News Whenever You Feel Like It

Today’s top story: Our ace journalist, me, discovered that people are still knitting highly ugly items. Not only are these people killing fashion with needles, they are displaying the carcases on their own persons. This station had footage, but it was deemed to graphic to show all of you. It has further become apparent that some knitting criminals are selling and/or gifting these items. If you should become ensnared in such a monstrosity, please proceed with extreme haste to your nearest junk or tool drawer, retrieve the scissors and cut the item from your person. It is also recommended that you seek trauma counseling to deal with the effects you and your loved ones may suffer.

In business news: Citicard hires fucktards to work for them. In a trend that is sweeping the nation, Citicard, the folks that handle Staples Business Credit Cards has decided to jump on the short bus and hire the stupid people. This reporter spent several long agonizing moments about 8 weeks ago getting an application approved and a card mailed out. Citicard mailed the card and only the card. So when one of my minions went to use said card today, it would not work. After an excrutiatingly long wait listening to generic muzak, I was transferred five times and told that they needed verification that the place where they sent the card exists. They sent a card that can’t be used because they need verification that the address and program exits. So after explaining to them that there is no business license or articles of incorporation for a facility, not a business per se, a facility that our corporation operates, I finally wrote a dumbed down special for them letter and faxed it off with a request that they call me. They have yet to return the call. More on this developing story as it becomes available.

In entertainment news, it was revealed on last nights 90210 (turn away if you don’t want to know) that Dylan is Kelly’s baby daddy. As was reported earlier by our own, me, this comes as no surprise. Our investigative story revealed that Dylan was the logical choice once all the clues fell into place. First was the “he’s coming, got to go”, followed closely by the “Brandon told me when he called from Belize”, followed by “We had a thing in high school, drifted apart and then came back together”, followed by “Unless HE’s come back” followed by last nights revelations that “he” is a “do-gooder that is half way around the world”, followed up with discussion between Kelly & Brenda’s “Sammy’s father, he, him” and topped off with Brenda’s “Face it Kelly, your still in love with Dylan” We break it down for you. It is most likely safe to assume that Kelly’s young son would not be coming into her bedroom at 3 a.m. and she would be wide awake and proceed to tickle him. Further, as you may recall Kelly didn’t have a thing with Brandon in high school, but she did with Dylan. It is also safe to assume that Brandon would not abandon his child because Jim & Cindy raised the farm boy better than that. And finally, when Brenda say’s Dylan it is pretty much a slam dunk that he sired the young blonde carrot top. After the break, thoughts on 90210 generation z.

While the main focus of 90210 for fans of the mother ship, Beverly Hills 90210, has been the baby daddy drama, new fans are more focused on the younger set. There’s Annie, the sickly sweet naïve vocal powerhouse, her adopted twin brother from another mother Dixon who is out to make his father proud, Ethan, the love sick surfer, Adrianna, the drug addicted actor, Silver, the dysfunctional loner and Naomi, the over botoxed 40 something hag. Thrown in the mix are the eccentric former actor grandmother, Kansas bred mom, California bred jock dad and a philandering father and clueless mother of the hag.

People who didn’t watch the original don’t seem to care much for the new crew and those that watched the original are searching for characters of long ago. It is still up in the air if this series will live to see a full season pickup.

In sports news today: Do you vote with your heart or your head? And I am talking about online polls and such. I ask this because I just voted on’s nhl page and I voted with my heart. The question was, “Will the Flyers make the post season playoffs” essentially. I voted no, because I have nothing but pure, raw hatred for the Flyers. But then again, I am a self respecting Penguins fan. So I voted with my heart. I think I do that a lot. I vote how I want things to be not necessarily how I think they should be because isn’t that what we do when choosing a president? We choose who we want, what we want to happen, what we hope will happen, not what we think will happen. That’s different though than a stupid espn poll. We don’t have the power to control what those douchebag flyers will do this season. Not unless, we start Tonya Hardinging them with clubs in dark parking lots as they exit with their ho trains.

Here’s what we are working on for tomorrow’s edition: Bones, more sexual innuendo or a gnarly new case? Criminal Minds, who got blown up in the repeat of last season’s finale. Also, thoughts on the announcement that Candace Bushnell, the creator of fashion victim Carrie Bradshaw’s new venture, The Carrie Bradshaw Diaries, a look at the relationship challenged writer’s high school years. Until then, smoke the peace pipe and elect a democrat!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Today I might get to breathe a little.

I have been so busy this week! Monday was just go go go at work and then Monday night, my shows were on and I was a knitting fool. Tuesday I stayed home sick and slept and watched The Closer and did some knitting. Tuesday night was class for three hours. Wednesday was back to work and go go go. I got a ton of stuff done. Yesterday was more go go go and I got a lot more done. I got a lot of knitting done last night. I didn’t turn my computer on at all. Today I might get to breathe a little.

Monday night was Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill. If Gossip Girl keeps going like it is, I am not going to watch it live, rather ff through it on dvr. It is so boring. Serena is so annoying! I can’t stand her. I think I read somewhere where Rufus and Vanessa might hookity hook up. Gross! She is his son’s age and has hooked up with said son. Eww. She should stick to Nate, who is screwing an older woman. I love Blair, but can’t stand her new beau. Chuck is always a delight. But that is where it ends. There is nothing that makes me want to watch and know more. Kind of a bad start to sophomore year.

One Tree Hill held a few surprises. I am so glad I don’t eat oatmeal after Nanny Wackadoo fed oatmeal with live cockroaches to Dan the Dick. Creeped me out totally. Uh, what else? Oh yeah, Peyton is the dumbest person. She totally should have known it was more than a fall down the stairs that totally fucked up Brooke. Thank god Brooke turned to the gun toting granny Deb. Can I just say again how much I adore Deb? She is great. I was not expecting the ending at all. I mean, the box, the cape, the gun shots. It was sad and I can’t imagine how next week’s episode is going to jerk the tears. Oh…

I watched 90210 when I got home Tuesday night. They really are getting a lot of the drama out there in the first few episodes aren’t they? The big cliffhanger remains, who is Kelly’s baby daddy? I am on board with Dylan. For a couple of reasons, she said she had a thing with him in high school. Well she didn’t have a thing with Brandon in hs, but she did Dylan. Steve’s name has been mentioned, but he was with Janet and baby Maddy at the end of the series. Also, I don’t believe that Brandon would be a douche bag and not be with his kid, plus when she mentioned Brandon’s name to Brenda she was happy and when she was on the phone with, what we are assuming is baby daddy, she wasn’t thrilled. Also she said she talked to Brandon at 3am. I would like to believe that as a mother she would not have hung up at 3 o something to a child who can’t sleep and tickled him. That is not the way to get a child to sleep in the middle of the night. Not that I have ever had to do it, but tickling increases adrenaline which does not aid in sleep. So, that leaves Dylan or that prom queen Matt, unless the powers that be are going to throw some other dude in the mix.

So, I dvred the new show Fringe on Fox. The first few minutes I was like, “nope, won’t be watching this.” I didn’t do the whole X-Files thing, because that doesn’t interest me. I don’t do sci-fi really. But I kept watching because Joshua Jackson is hot and wouldn’t it be a monkey’s butt, it got interesting. So I kept watching and then there was Pacey, all scruffy and trying to pull off an accent maybe? Not sure, but it’s not like it matters he was looking super fine. And let me tell you that his papa on the show is funny. “It was just a squirt.” Funny. And Blair Brown’s freaky deaky hand makes me want to watch more, so I set up a series recording. Now that means that in two weeks I will have to stop recording Privileged (which I have yet to watch) because I want to film The Mentalist and I can only record two shows at the same time. I am hoping I can count on The CW to keep airing repeats of Privileged on Sunday. Then I can still catch it.

Bones was good this week. I could not stand the new intern or whatever she was. She sent shivers down my spine. I loved all the sex talk, I think it is hilarious. The whole porta potty burial ground was a little gross though. Eew.

That’s about all that I have watched. I still have Privileged and Raising the Bar on the dvr. I will get to them this weekend. I think I might watch the season finale of The Closer live on Monday and watch GG on dvr. I just can’t get into it yet. I can watch it after OTH.

In other news, I have completed the baby hat and mitts. Let me just say, the hat is super cute and the mitts are sucktacular as I expected. Those mitts should not be knitted flat. They turn out so much better knitted in the round, so I may knit them up again on dpns. I haven’t taken pictures yet, I will this weekend. I finally got my shipment of circulars on Wednesday, two days after I really needed them. Oh well. I got started on the project on Wednesday night and really cranked out some inches last night. I got the striping done and I love it. I think it is going to turn out great, I just hope it is not too big right now. I guess time will tell. At first I was feeling a lot of pain in my wrist on the circulars but last night, it was okay. It might just be the first few rounds that are difficult on the wrists. I like the ribbing pattern on this project. I have two other projects going. First my fingerless gloves are finally started. I hate k1p1, but that is what the pattern calls for, the whole freaking glove is k1p1. I have a feeling that it is going to take a while to get two gloves done. I have Christmas projects to work on first. I have the reader’s wrap started. I don’t know that I like the feel of the yarn, it is a little stiff and scratchy for Vanna. I hope it turns out okay, it’s not like you will wear it on bare skin…I don’t think. I will try to take pictures this weekend.

I have a new present coming in the mail. I can’t wait. When I get it, I will take a picture. So excited.

That is pretty much what is going on in my life right now. I need to pick up my living room again. I need to still sort my file cabinet and my desk. I have boxes of books that need to come in and be put away and I still have a box of desk stuff that I really need to get in the house. I gave away a ton of scrapbooking stuff. I finally faced it that I just love the stuff, I don’t love doing stuff with the stuff. The Girl Scouts are going to be very happy. I also gave all my looms and a ton of yarn to the nursing home. They were super happy. Now I have room to buy yarn I will actually use.

I need to start looking for a Halloween book. I joined a swap and that is one of the things we need to include. I also need a one skein project and a skein of fall colored yarn. I have a project idea in mind, I just need to see if I can get the yarn it calls for without needing to take out a loan. I hope it comes in some sort of fall color, otherwise I have to find something new.

Okay, well I am going to do something, I just don’t know what yet.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

...alone…with a stuffed animal.

I’ve been missing for a while. I am a okay though. I haven’t really been missing, like 9-1-1 missing. I have actually been holed up in my new “living” room because I love it so much and because I am back to watching television and knitting!

Class starts on Tuesday night from 6-9! I have to DVR 90210; Fringe; Privileged and NCIS when it comes back on! My Sundays are going to be full of television and knitting for the entire fall and winter. I have two projects on the needles right now and once I get my 16” circulars in the mail, I will be casting on another! All but one are Christmas presents. I have finally started my fingerless gloves. The pattern has been in my book for a while and I just decided to cast on. I am doing the long, elbow length gloves with a thumb. They are in Caron Simply Soft Heathers Charcoal. I think they will be great…but are going to take a while. It is all done in k1p1 ribbing. Ugh! I hate k1p1 ribbing.

Work is going okay. I love love love working on Fridays because I get so much stuff done! I have a lot to do this week though. Trying to get everything entered and checks run. It will be crazay, but I can do it!

I am happy to report that somewhere around two weeks into my new room and I have kept is super clean and nice. I make my bed every day, the mess from my computer is behind closed doors. My dresser is nice, my nightstand and even my closet look okay. I love coming home to a made bed and nice room. I try to pick up my living room at least every other day. It is easy to leave a pop can on the stand table and patterns on top of the blankets on the ottoman. I am trying though. I will be taking the fan out probably the end of the month. I took the fan out of the windows and closed them up for the winter. I need to get some window screens rescreened in the spring. The hail storm last weekend totally shredded the one in my living room.

I need to do my flex reimbursement. I need to get my savings account back up and I need to see how much I need to spend between now and the end of the year. I don’t want to leave money on the table so I need to figure out a way to get reimbursed for my massages possibly. I have another one tomorrow. I have gone to every two weeks now. It is so relaxing and just makes me feel good.

Well I am going to go back and watch the VMAs and then see if True Blood is any good before calling it a night and going to bed….alone…with a stuffed animal. Good sleep everyone!