Anyone remember caboodles?

Have you ever read a book and wondered who thought it was good enough to sell, let alone publish? I did last year. Blue Justice (there is an entry back in August of last year). That was by far the worst book I have ever read. It was absolutely horrible. I don’t think I can stress enough how incredibly terrible that book is. If I weren’t such an anti-pyro I might have burned it to prove a point.

I am half way through a book that is not bad, but not the best I have ever read. This is the second book in the series. I finished book one after a lengthy break and two other books, last weekend. It ended and I was left a little unsatisfied. I thought the author robbed me of figuring out the mystery. I was frankly kind of pissed. I have no doubt that will happen again with this book. I think he likes the control. He apparently dislikes dialogue. There is more description in this book than in the JC Penney fall catalog. I get bored with too much description. There are also a lot of characters popping up in this book and if the first half is any indication, there will be a few more. Without a character list, it is hard to keep track of every one. In his last book he used (or maybe the publisher?) italics to indicate flashback. This time no such indication except, “she remembered”. I don’t know how many times the man can use the word penis. These characters think more about schlong than Ron Jeremy. I am bored with the transsexual and the reminders that she did not have the “SRS surgery”, which the same as saying “sexual reassignment surgery surgery”. No I did not type surgery twice by accident…SRS is Sexual Reassignment Surgery, yet the author insists on putting surgery after SRS every freaking time. I am not a reviewer of books. I dropped out of the critiquing group because I couldn’t read anything without critiquing it. Maybe some of that has stayed with me. Maybe I am a more well rounded reader. Maybe the writing really does suck and the quotes they get for the cover are from people used to reading children’s books. I hold the books I read to a standard and that standard is Ed McBain. In my eyes the man can do no wrong. Everything he writes is literary genius. He is the master to which all mystery writers should aspire to be. I admit it. I do not critique his books because they are pure and utter masterpieces. Poison is my Odyssey.

That being said, this book I am reading is starting to interest and disappoint me at the same time. I am going to finish it (with any luck this weekend) because I need to know what happens in the end. I need to know how it all plays out. It is important to me. I can’t read anything else until I finish this book and I have two waiting in the wings. One quick fluff and one that is critically acclaimed, by real writers, respected writers. Once the book is finished I will write more about my overall feelings. This is just the half way point. A lot of books don’t pick up until the half way point. Some books never pick up. At least I am interested in this as opposed to that horrible disaster that was Blue Justice. Honestly the worst book I have ever read in my life.

So basically I read last night. I did watch So You Think You Can Dance…in between chapters. I must say that seeing Will & Twitch in the bottom was shocking. I was sure Mark was going home with Comfort, who thank Christ is finally gone. But in all seriousness, Mark and Joshua being the two safe? Did a dyslexic accountant write the results cards? Don’t get me wrong, I like Joshua. I think he is good, even if looking at him with that shit on his teeth is distracting. Not surprised that Courtney was in the bottom with Comfort. I swear that if Comfort had sailed through again this week I was going to boycott the rest of the season. She is not that good in anything other than hip hop. I was a bit relieved when Will was sent packing. Not because I didn’t like him. Well at first I didn’t, but he grew on me and I thought for sure he was going to win the whole kit and caboodle. Anyone remember caboodles? Those hard plastic makeup totes? Mine was a raspberry pink and white swirl. Anywho, I was just happy that Twitch lives to dance another day.

And was it just me or were we totally screwed on performances this week? Last week there were three group numbers (not to memorable) and this week there was one and then we had to bring everyone out individually and relive the night before. Then there was a ballet that quite frankly, toilet paper hold my attention better. Then LL Cool J performed. My god the man has muscles. I don’t even know how the song sounded because I could not take my eyes off of him.

It is very cold in my office. I don’t want to say too much because I am one who does not like the hotness of summer. But the past few weeks my office has been comfortable and now , it is frigid.

That is all I have at 10:00 in the morning.

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